NC Woman Calls 911 On Botched Pizza

Bevalente Michette Hall

GASTONIA, NC (May 8, 2014) — A Gastonia, NC, woman called 911 earlier this month to report a heinous deed- Her flatbread pizza had been made wrong! Bevalente Michette Hall, 37, was, of course, arrested and charged with misuse of the 911 system. On May 8 Hall was eagerly anticipating a delicious pizza from Subway, […]

Oregon Bank Robber Writes Demand on His Food Stamp Receipt

Robert Short

DESCHUTES COUNTY, OREGON (April 24, 2014) — Finding suspects to fill the Dumb Crooks page every week is luckily (unfortunately?) an easy task for stupid crooks are everywhere. Case in point: Robert Short. Mr. Short was arrested last week from his campsite after allegedly robbing an Oregon bank by writing his demands on the back […]

Pennsylvania First Grader Brings Grandma’s Heroin to School

Pauline Bilinski-Munion

PENNSYLVANIA (Mid May 2014) — How’s this for a Mother’s Day surprise? A Pennsylvania grandmother was arrested last week after her seven-year-old grandson allegedly brought her heroin to school. Pauline Bilinski-Munion, 56, reportedly told police that she “lost track” of the drugs when she was babysitting her two grandkids at her house. Authorities said that […]

California Car Thief Drives Stolen Vehicle to Court

Timothy Frederick Knight

SAN FRANCISCO, CA (Early May 2014) — Timothy Frederick Knight may be dumb (obvious) but he is also very bold. But maybe we shouldn’t get too mixed up in our labels. “Dumb” and “bold” more often than not go hand in hand. In any event, Knight’s “boldness” was on display early in May when he […]

NC Teen Accused of Poisoning Grandmother

Tyt'ana Lisa Nicole Johnson

FAYETVILLE, NC (April, 20, 2014) — A North Carolina teenager was arrested late in April after allegedly trying to poison her grandmother’s collard greens with insecticide and termite killer. The Cumberland County District Attorney Billy West said that 17-year-old Tyt’ana Lisa-Nicole Johnson of Fayetteville poured the insecticide into the greens while her 51-year-old grandmother was […]

Women Arrested After Twerking at City Hall

o-TWERKERS-570

BEAVERTON, OR (Mid April 2014) –Three Oregon women were thrown in jail in late April after twerking outside the Beaverton, OR, City Hall. Police claim one woman also peed in the parking lot while the other two exposed themselves. Coura Valazquez had just paid a fine at the municipal building when she and her two […]

Texas Woman Threatens a Stabbing Over Weak Corn Dog

Charmelle Henry

MIDLAND, TX (Late April) — A West Texas woman was jailed late last month after police say she threatened store employees with a knife over a sub-standard corn dog. Police in Midland, Texas, said Charmelle Henry threw 75 cents at employees at a local restaurant and demanded a corn dog. When the 45 year old […]

Fake Kidnapping Scheme Foiled When Mom Won’t Pay Ransom

Zachery Logsdon

KNOXVILLE, TN (April 18, 2014) — A Tennessee man who allegedly tried to extort his momma with a fake kidnapping was arrested last week after she refused to pay the $200 ransom. Zachery Logsdon, 25, of Knoxville, TN, allegedly sent his mother a text message on April 18 claiming that his drug dealer was holding […]